Good attitude breeds good things

Well, not sure what all I want to say so I will just do my normal throw it out and see where it lands.  Today, and last few days have really shown me that when I get off my ass and do something, things go good more then they don't.  I have always been a procrastinator.  So bad, that I never saw the lessons that were right in my face.

Last few days I have been getting up and making appointments and doing things and it has been the most awesome emotional feeling.  Not to mention things have started rolling.  Feel more pushed now to keep this up.  What is really scary is I still feel like I haven't done enough.  Yet I love what is happening and I want more of it.  Even this blog, I feel like I have been so negative in it.  Now I am starting to see the power of positive thinking and attitude.  Feel pretty speechless right about now.  Not sure what to say or think.  Just know I can't waste energy or time over thinking it and a strong urge to just go with it and keep making these positive changes.

One of those is in the area of finance.  All my life I have hidden myself from it.  Meaning I never checked my bank balance, or planned for anything and put money away.  Sit down and do my bills.  Paid things when I was threaten (more times even longer) and had no other choice.  This is a monster embarrassing thing to admit to.  But I feel like i need to.  Get it out there and move forward and stop doing it.  Which is exactly what I am doing now.  Scares me to death to even think about the mass amount of money I have pissed and given away because I just wouldn't stand up and do the responsible thing.  My thinking had been if I made more money everything would work out.  It was life and all the assholes of the world's fault that I didn't make that extra $100 per month.  Boy, was I ever fucking wrong on that!  Know I can not ever allow this to happen again.  And when things are short or go wrong I need to take an active role and fix it as best I can and never to hide again.  Fuck I feel so good right now!

What really blew me away was about a week ago I finally pulled out Quicken and started making a budget.  Listed everything I could from outgoing to incoming.  And amazingly I found that for the things that I truly needed to do, I did have enough money.  It was the dumb things that with just a little responsible decisions I could still do and not be messed up.  Someone please slap my dumb ass!!!!

Think that is enough soul bearing for the day, but damn I am so excited to finally doing the right thing!